October 2011
57 posts
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About 100 miles...
Till the SC state border.
Im not as excited as I thought I’d be though. Who knew that coming home could hurt like hell when it ain’t where your heart is?
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3:58 am, october 31, 2011
And I’m somewhere in Virginia, while my parents are resting.
& the two main things on my mind are why I can’t sleep, &,
Are me and Jasen really going to make it? We want to make this work but 1,000 miles is quite the distance.
I’m going to miss him so fucking much. I love him& he’s the miracle I’ve been hoping for for a long time.
I hope he really does...
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Deprived...
I haven’t seen my boyfriend all weekend, and he moves to Springfield tomorrow, life feels REALLY Suckish tonight. I need to be with jasen, he makes me feel secure and sane , of all things.
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“oh please i’m just some northern kid you’re a sexy girl form the...”
– JPS
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Somebody...
ask me questions? I feel like having an honesty night.
:)
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Could this
maybe be the start of something amazing?
ohmyfreakinggod.
TOMORROW GET HERE FASTER.
AMC♥
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to "Someone"
I Give Up.
I’m not gonna waste my time on something or someone that doesn’t want me.
I’m fucking done putting myself out there.
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& I realize.
that i have a shit ton of homework to do thats due wednesday, and its almost 9pm on monday; if i dont get started, there’s no way i’ll be able to do it when i (most likely) go to her house tomrrow; because then i won’t be able to focus. at all <3
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working.
on a new blog that is going to be the real me, and then i might take this one down; i’m sick of hiding; Arabella is my spirit, but not who i really am.
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so much for...
that ‘lets give this one more try’ thing i was hooked on.
i think He lost interest in me :(
& Yet people wonder why i’m afraid of rejection…
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emotional pain.
i want one of two things right now.
to go fucking home.
or to go see Carson.
either way, i fucking want OUT of vermont.
god i can’t wait for the glorious fucking day that i turn 18. it will be the saving of me.
WHY IS LIFE SO FUCKING UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!
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tomorrow...
i really really hope that Carson gets his computer fixed & so when i get back to my uncle’s house, i’ll be able to skype with him! i’ve missed him SO much while he was in Cali, and this weekend b/c of his computer problems. i’ve missed his adorable self way too much and i really wanna see his new haircut, haha, even though i’m kinda mad he cut it to begin with!...
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My mood
just completely flipped. maybe i should believe Marie’s (fake name again) advice when she said that she thinks i’m bipolar. i’m starting to believe it.
i just went from hopeful, to hopeless, to way too fucking eager.
I try way too hard. that’s what makes me fuck up in the end.
i’m disgusted with myself right now.
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"let's give this another try..."
i’m giving it one last chance at me not effing up another BDSM situation i’m in.
I kindof actually really want this one. i have a gut feeling i can trust, even though i’m normally not one to share.
:)
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Gtalk.
Me: Luci, youuuu have to make a facebook! its like, the new myspace XD
Luci: IIII don't want one nor can i have it!
Me: D:<
Luci: No me gusta!
Me: Screw your gusta, kay? :D
Luci: don't screw me gusta!
Me: xD
Luci: My gusta is just not full of ur fb virus
haha Luci, this is why i love you, bestfriend ♥
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MY GOSH.
can my stupid ankle like, heal already;
i’d really like to be able to walk again, its already bad enough i’m doing the ‘first day of school’ round 2, it sucks even more that i’m doing it on crutches.
the throbbing pain in my ankle is really hurting right now. & i really miss carson’s voice right now♥
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very painful to learn.
that playing World of warcraft & instant messaging & texting all at the same time is deadly.
my mage on wow just died b/c i was tabbed into gtalk.
greaaat. thats gonna be a fun repair bill.
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Semi-Good Friday (:
I got to skype briefly with Carson today; although Jamison (not really the name) was in the call with us, until Carson’s computer crashed; -sadface- and so i got a brief message from him (Carson) before he left to his friends house & told me that he was taking his computer to get fixed , and i most likely wont hear from him till monday -sigh- SO; i’m gonna get my warcraft rogue to...
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SO!
i skyped with carson tonight! <3
i am one happy girl. i didn’t get to video call but i got to hear his voice, and that is the highlight of my week <3 &&&;; he said that he MAYBE can come to my graduation in june of 2012!!! iloveyoucarson<3
I’m so lucky to have ‘met’ him.
well, i’m going to. :)
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i really wonder...
if i invited Carson to come see me graduate from high school up here in VT….
if he would really fly out here that weekend?
i really wonder if.
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i can't explain
the way i feel about you. it’s something much bigger than i’ve ever felt before. & in a certain way; it scares the hell out of me that i feel so strongly for you when i told myself i’d never fall this hard.
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i wish...
i wish i could be there with you right now. i wish i could be waiting at your house, greeting you when you came home from your trip, to show you how much i’ve missed you. i wish i could be straight up with you about my feelings for you, so you’d know how bad i not only want you, but to be with you.
i wish for that amazing first kiss i know we’ll share someday. i sometimes even...
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Another confession.
I really need to stop creeping & stalking people on fb. i feel obsessive. but i just can’t help it that i miss him so much. *cah♥
-Victoria.
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Confession time.
thats the second time within the past six months that i’ve been looking at round trip ticket prices on orbitz for a flight to indiana. i’m beginning to think this is a sign.
i’ve got it bad. really bad. -ily.cah♥
it's 11:11 PM.
and i just made my wish for you to have a safe trip back from cali, carson. iloveyou♥ -Victoria
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How people act on the first day of high school .
hazardousthoughts:
10knotes:
Freshmen trying to find there classes looking lost:
10th & 11th graders walking into school:
12th graders walk into school like:
Submitted by rhymeswithwitches
Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
SENIORS RUN THIS!
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Je t'aime, Carson
& I miss you like woah.
-Love, Victoria.
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